The church, traditionally a pillar of strength, leadership, and purpose, has in many ways played an unintended role in the feminization of modern men. American Christianity has contributed to a culture where men feel disconnected from their authentic masculinity, suppressing their God-given traits of leadership, courage, and purpose in favor of a softer, more palatable version of themselves. This is not about assigning blame but about shining a light on how societal and institutional pressures have shaped men in ways that go against their natural design.
From the UnHypnotist perspective, this issue is rooted in societal conditioning—a collective “waking trance” that has seduced men into abandoning their true purpose and power. In this post, we’ll explore the historical, cultural, and spiritual aspects of this phenomenon, and provide actionable steps to help Christian men reclaim their authentic masculinity.
How Did We Get Here?
The Historical Shift
Historically, Christianity was a faith of action, sacrifice, and strength. Men were called to lead their families, protect their communities, and stand firm in the face of adversity. Biblical figures like David, Joshua, and Paul embodied a balanced masculinity—bold in their convictions, yet humble before God.
However, over time, cultural shifts began to influence the church. During the Industrial Revolution, men were pulled out of their homes to work long hours in factories, leaving the spiritual upbringing of their children primarily to women. This dynamic unintentionally shifted the spiritual focus in households and churches toward a more nurturing and emotional approach.
In the 20th century, the rise of consumerism and media further diluted the church’s message. Sermons became more focused on comfort and conformity rather than challenge and transformation. The rugged, action-oriented masculinity exemplified in Scripture was replaced by a version of manhood that emphasized passivity and niceness.
Cultural Influences
Modern American culture has increasingly marginalized traditional masculinity. Traits like assertiveness, confidence, and resilience are often labeled as “toxic,” while emotional vulnerability and compliance are celebrated. The church, in its attempt to remain relevant, has often adopted these cultural narratives rather than challenging them with biblical truth.
Many churches now prioritize emotional engagement over spiritual discipline, emphasizing feelings over action. Men, who thrive on mission, purpose, and challenge, often feel out of place in these environments. Instead of being called to rise to their potential, they’re encouraged to suppress their natural leadership instincts in favor of being “nice guys” who avoid conflict and blend in.
The Consequences of Feminized Christianity
- Lack of Male Leadership
Churches are often filled with women, while men are either absent or disengaged. This isn’t because men lack faith but because they feel disconnected from the church’s message and culture. Leadership roles that once called men to action have been diluted, leaving men without a clear sense of purpose within the church.
- Passive Relationships
Men who adopt a feminized version of Christianity often struggle in relationships. Instead of leading with strength and clarity, they become passive, avoiding conflict and failing to set boundaries. This creates frustration in both men and their partners, as the natural dynamic of masculine leadership is stifled.
- Loss of Purpose
Men thrive when they have a mission. Without a clear purpose rooted in their faith, many men feel adrift. The lack of emphasis on spiritual discipline and mission in many churches leaves men without the tools they need to grow into the leaders they are called to be.
- Emotional Suppression
Ironically, the feminization of men doesn’t lead to true emotional vulnerability but to emotional suppression. Men are taught to avoid anger, assertiveness, and ambition—traits that, when properly channeled, can be powerful tools for leadership and growth. Instead, they are left feeling frustrated and disconnected from their emotions.
Reclaiming Biblical Masculinity
The solution isn’t a return to domineering patriarchy or a rejection of emotional depth. True masculinity is about balance—strength and vulnerability, action and contemplation, leadership and humility. Here’s how Christian men can break free from societal conditioning and reclaim their God-given roles.
- Recognize the Waking Trance
The first step is awareness. Many Christian men are living in a waking negative trance, shaped by societal narratives that conflict with biblical truth. To break free, they must ask themselves:
What beliefs about masculinity have I adopted from culture, rather than Scripture?
How have these beliefs shaped my actions, relationships, and faith?
What areas of my life feel disconnected from my true purpose as a man?
Awakening from the trance begins with challenging these assumptions and seeking truth in God’s Word.
- Return to the Word
The Bible is filled with examples of strong, godly men who embodied true masculinity. Study the lives of men like David, Nehemiah, and Paul, and look for themes of courage, discipline, and reliance on God. Reflect on passages like:
1 Corinthians 16:13-14: “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.”
Ephesians 6:10-11: “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.”
These verses call men to action, strength, and love—traits that define biblical masculinity.
- Cultivate Discipline
Masculinity thrives on discipline. Modern churches often focus on grace at the expense of growth, leaving men without a sense of challenge. To reclaim their purpose, men must embrace spiritual discipline:
Daily prayer and Bible study: Build a relationship with God through consistent time in His Word.
Physical discipline: Exercise and care for your body, recognizing it as a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
Emotional discipline: Learn to process emotions in healthy ways, balancing vulnerability with strength.
- Lead with Purpose
Men are called to be leaders—in their families, churches, and communities. Leadership doesn’t mean domination; it means serving others with strength, humility, and vision. To lead effectively:
Set the example: Live a life of integrity and faith that inspires others.
Take responsibility: Own your actions and decisions, even when it’s difficult.
Serve others: Leadership is about lifting others up, not elevating yourself.
- Build Brotherhood
Isolation is one of the greatest threats to modern men. The church must reclaim its role as a place of brotherhood and accountability. Men need spaces where they can share their struggles, challenge one another, and grow together.
Join or create men’s groups: Focus on discipleship, leadership, and spiritual growth.
Mentorship: Seek out older, wiser men who can guide you, and mentor younger men in return.
Challenge one another: True brotherhood involves accountability and encouragement to grow.
- Embrace Righteous Strength
Strength is not inherently toxic—it’s a gift from God. When used righteously, strength protects, builds, and inspires. Embrace the traits that make you a man:
Assertiveness: Speak truth in love, even when it’s unpopular.
Courage: Stand firm in your faith, even in the face of adversity.
Ambition: Pursue your God-given goals with passion and purpose.
Actionable Steps for Churches
The church must also play a role in helping men reclaim biblical masculinity. Here are some ways to make that happen:
Preach challenging messages: Call men to action, discipline, and growth rather than comfort and passivity.
Create spaces for men: Host events, retreats, and groups that focus on developing male leadership and purpose.
Model strong leadership: Pastors and leaders should exemplify the balance of strength and humility that defines biblical masculinity.
Equip men with tools: Provide resources for spiritual growth, emotional healing, and practical leadership.
The feminization of modern men in American Christianity is not a call to return to outdated stereotypes but a challenge to reclaim the balance and strength that define true masculinity. Men are not called to passivity or domination but to live as Christ lived—boldly, humbly, and purposefully.
Breaking free from the waking trance requires courage, discipline, and a return to God’s design for manhood. By embracing their roles as leaders, protectors, and servants, Christian men can rise to the challenges of modern life and inspire others to do the same.
It’s time for a generation of men to awaken, step into their God-given purpose, and redefine what it means to be a man in today’s world. Let the journey begin.