(And It Isn’t Because They’re Too Long)
A few days ago, a friend of mine made a Facebook post.
He’s a good guy.
Hardworking.
Honest.
The kind of person you’d trust in your home.
He works in pest control and was trying to reach a company goal. He needed a few more customers to qualify for a cruise.
His post said exactly what he wanted people to know.
He offered termite inspections.
Mentioned he only needed a few more sales.
Asked people to message him if they were interested.
There wasn’t anything wrong with it.
In fact, if you asked most people to grade it, they’d probably say it was perfectly fine.
The problem was…
It sounded like every other post people scroll past every single day.
I sent him a message.
“Would it be a bad idea if I took a crack at rewriting it?”
He said yes.
So I rewrote it.
Not by adding hype.
Not by making outrageous promises.
Not by filling it with emojis or clickbait.
I simply changed where the story began.
Instead of beginning with him…
It began with the homeowner.
Most people never think about termites… until they discover they’re already there.
Now the reader wasn’t thinking about helping someone earn a cruise.
They were thinking about protecting one of the biggest investments they’ll ever own.
Same business.
Same offer.
Same person.
Different starting point.
He liked it.
Used it immediately.
That got me thinking.
People often ask me why my Facebook posts are so long.
Every now and then someone even comments…
“Too long.”
They’re probably right.
By today’s standards they are.
Every marketing expert tells us the same thing.
Keep it short.
People have short attention spans.
Get to the point.
Use shorter sentences.
Use bigger hooks.
Never waste the first three lines.
Some of that advice is good.
Some of it isn’t.
Because I don’t actually believe people have short attention spans.
I think they have short patience for things that don’t matter to them.
Think about it.
People binge-watch an entire season of a television show in one weekend.
They’ll listen to a three-hour podcast while mowing the yard.
They’ll spend an afternoon watching football.
They’ll stay up until two in the morning reading a novel they can’t put down.
Attention isn’t disappearing.
It’s becoming more selective.
People don’t stop reading because something is long.
They stop reading because they stop caring.
That’s a very different problem.
Most business posts fail before the second sentence.
Not because they’re poorly written.
Because they answer the wrong question first.
Business owners usually begin with…
“We’re excited to announce…”
“We offer…”
“We’re having a sale…”
“Our company has…”
But the person scrolling isn’t asking any of those questions.
They’re asking one question.
Even if they never say it out loud.
Why should I care?
Until you answer that question…
Nothing else matters.
Imagine you’re a roofer.
Instead of saying…
We’ve been serving Northwest Georgia since 1998.
What if you began with…
Most homeowners don’t discover roof damage during a storm.
They discover it six months later when water starts dripping through the ceiling.
Now I’m listening.
Not because you talked about yourself.
Because you started where I live.
Or imagine you’re a counselor.
Instead of saying…
I help people overcome anxiety.
What if you wrote…
If you’ve ever replayed the same conversation a hundred times on the drive home…
You already know how exhausting your own mind can become.
Now someone quietly whispers…
“That’s me.”
Connection always comes before explanation.
I’ve spent more than eleven years sitting across from people in my counseling office.
One sentence has shown up in almost every category of struggle imaginable.
“I don’t know how to explain it.”
Grief.
Trauma.
Marriage.
Church hurt.
Addiction.
Anxiety.
Different stories.
Same sentence.
They aren’t looking for bigger words.
They’re looking for the right ones.
Sometimes the breakthrough doesn’t happen because I give someone an answer.
Sometimes it happens because together we finally find language for what they’ve been carrying.
That’s true in counseling.
It’s true in ministry.
It’s true in business.
Most people don’t need help writing.
They need help saying what they actually mean.
That’s why I enjoy this work so much.
Whether it’s a Facebook post…
A website…
An email…
A sermon…
A book…
Or a conversation that matters…
I’m not trying to make people sound smarter.
I’m trying to make them sound clearer.
Because clarity builds trust.
And trust changes everything.
So if you’ve been frustrated because your Facebook posts aren’t getting much attention…
Don’t start by making them shorter.
Start by asking yourself a different question.
Who is this really about?
If the answer is mostly you…
Rewrite it.
Start where your reader lives.
Talk about the problem they recognize.
Help them feel understood before you explain your solution.
Because people don’t usually keep reading because your writing is clever.
They keep reading because somewhere along the way they begin to think…
“I thought I was the only one.”
Those are the moments I write for.
And honestly…
Those are the moments I love helping other people create.
Grace and peace,
Shane Clements